Ask HokieBird....

Advice You Didn’t Ask For (But Definitely Needed)

Welcome to Ask HokieBird, the maroon-and-orange advice column where tailgates meet tough love. Whether you’re dealing with relationship drama, fantasy football betrayal, or the agony of watching a noon kickoff from the West Coast—HokieBird is here with absolutely unqualified, questionably helpful, and 100% entertaining wisdom. Submit your questions, get roasted (lightly), and remember: if you can’t trust a giant anthropomorphic turkey with your life choices, who can you trust?